Posts filed under ‘Corporate’

NotJobs: We don’t normally respond….

Submitted for your approval, a letter of rejection sent after a resume review step, purportedly from the Cadbury Chocolate Company:

Dear Mr. X

We regret to inform you that your application for the position of Global Quality Manager has been unsuccessful. We don’t normally respond to unsuccessful applicants but in your case we’ve made an exception in order to return the £5 note you attached to the references section of your application under the line “Elizabeth *wink wink*”

cadbury-rejection

This letter may be apocryphal, but some sites in Great Britain quote the full tweet with the original image. Cadbury is doing the right thing by sending this letter and returning the cash, even though the sender is “outside of the standard distribution.”

5 November 2013 at 12:11AM Leave a comment

Recruitment Ad for Evil Minions

Ad for Evil MinionsWANTED

EVIL GENIUS seeks minions to sacrifice their lives in world domination attempt. Must be prepared to work 24-7 for fascist psychopath for no pay. Messy death inevitable but costumes and laser death rays provided. No weirdos. Call: 1-900-MWAH-HAHA

30 June 2013 at 1:07AM Leave a comment

Please do not apply (Actual Ad)

This is brilliant!

McCOOK GLASS & MIRROR INC. is looking for hard working experienced employees that possess responsiblity and are reliable.

1 November 2012 at 1:10AM Leave a comment

NotJobs: Hack Marriott computers, extort company for job

Over on the NetworkWorld site, cybercrime reporter Michael Cooney provides details on How Not to Get a Job with a major international hotel chain: hack into their computers, then extort HR for a job:

The Department of Justice today said a man who sent malicious code to Marriott International Corporation, threatening to reveal confidential information taken from the company’s computers if Marriott did not offer him a job, has been sent to prison for his criminal endeavor.

Attila Nemeth, 26, a Hungarian citizen, was sentenced to 30 months in prison and three years of supervised release.

According to the DOJ, court documents show on Nov. 11, 2010, Nemeth emailed Marriott personnel, telling them he had been accessing Marriott’s computers for months and had obtained proprietary information. Nemeth threatened to reveal this information if Marriott did not give him a job maintaining the company’s computers.

Of course, one can see that this is going to end badly. The candidate (Nemeth) continued to think he was the smartest one in the process. The Greeks had a word for that: hubris.

Nemeth was not the smartest one in the process:

Without Nemeth’s knowledge on Nov. 18, 2010, Marriott created a fictitious Marriott employee that it then let the U.S. Secret Service use in an undercover operation to communicate with Nemeth. Nemeth, believing he was communicating with Marriott human resources personnel, continued to call and email the undercover agent, and demanded a job with Marriott in order to prevent the public release of the Marriott documents. Nemeth emailed a copy of his Hungarian passport as identification and offered to travel to the United States, the DOJ stated.

We can picture Nemeth’s messages to the fake HR rep, “Have the decision-makers seen my proposal? Are they going to talk to me? Can I provide any more information? When will they make their decision? Why is this taking so long? You Human Resources types are all incompetent!”

The complete story is here: http://www.networkworld.com/news/2012/020312-marriott-hack-255718.html

1 September 2012 at 1:38AM Leave a comment

Trap Doors: One Way to Recruit

This video from Barclays is more of a branding effort than a recruitment video, but it highlights some creative “recruiting” methods used to get A Players.

If only it were this easy. (The video is 1:00.)

Sometimes the most amazing things can escape your attention. Suppose we told you that there’s a financial company that’s quietly snapping up some of the world’s top graduates. A company that is taking some of the most innovative minds the academic and financial worlds have to offer. A company that is using their talents to become one of the fastest growing investment banks – without most people noticing. “Ridiculous”, you’d probably say, “Such a company can’t fly under my radar. I would know about it”

Good job, Barclays!

31 August 2012 at 12:25AM Leave a comment

This is not a Merit System

Job postings the way some companies do them:

 Experience Required: The candidate must be a guy named Eric, pot-bellied, nearsighted, must drive a red Ford Bronco.Dilbert, by Scott Adams 13-APR-1996

Experience Required: The candidate must be a guy named Eric, pot-bellied, nearsighted, must drive a red Ford Bronco.

31 July 2012 at 12:10AM Leave a comment

The Pirate Ship as Organizational Model

Over on the CrashDev blog, Chris Devore has penned an article with stunning insight. His point in “The Pirate Ship as Organizational Model” is one that should be enjoyed and considered by my former boss Nathan, my dear friend Hooligan, his former boss Harry, and others who have felt the fun and excitement of a start-up turn to the dross and pain of corporate politics.

Devore is contemplating the perfect company to work for. He admits thinking it might be related to size, but

The Queen Anne’s Revenge by LegoFor me, the best possible circumstance is a company that’s somewhere on the spectrum from unformed idea to Pirate Ship. As soon as it passes from Pirate Ship to Going Concern, it stops being fun for me and I need to start over.

This, of course, got the attention of your humble editor, who is a student of historical pirates. What is the spectrum that includes pirate ships as an organizational model? Devore goes on to explain [emphasis mine]:

Since Pirate Ship is a technical term only to me, let me explain. An organization is healthy as long as its survival is sufficiently in doubt that each employee feels a primary responsibility to ensuring the survival of the firm, and a secondary (or lesser) concern for their own position within the hierarchy. The vitality of this “us against the world” mentality depends (to a greater or lesser extent) on the prospect of treasure somewhere on the horizon (i.e., it cannot be sustained in organizations where the prospect of treasure has dimmed to the point that jumping ship and taking a risk on a new captain and crew seem like a better bet). But it can if, despite remarkably long odds, a plurality of the crew believe that a rich prize might still be lurking beyond the next atoll. The scale at which this condition ceases to exist is conditioned equally by the nature of the opportunity being pursued and the quality of the leadership at the helm.

As soon as an organization reaches the point that its survival is no longer in doubt (or that the average participant no longer feels that his or her individual contribution is material to its survival), corruption begins to seep in.

Wow. Devore has exactly nailed some of my experiences in the high-tech world. The times that were the most intense, most fun and most rewarding were when everything was on the line. It was us against the world – we were in a Pirate Ship.

I like how Devore’s friend Donald DeSantis clarified this in his blog post:

Pirate ships combine an “us against the world” mentality with a hunt for treasure. This crucible of chaos and ambition somehow allows unstructured groups of mercenaries to complete complex tasks without killing one another (very often).

This is a key point. Highly motivated and highly talented are competitive. Once the big win on the horizon is captured and accounted for, the talent that thrives in that environment will be gone, or will start to engage in internal politics and mistreating others.

One key to happiness, then, is the awareness of internal attitudes.

29 May 2012 at 1:02AM Leave a comment

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My Core Ideas

1. "I can't tell you the best way to get a job - because there is no one best way. After 21 years of recruiting, I CAN share things I've seen candidates do to guarantee they DIDN'T get the job."

2. "Most companies don't realize how their recruiting process impacts their candidate pool, and their business. Attention to simple things will result in big improvements."

About the Author

Troy Bettinger, SPHR is a Denver Recruiter, Public Speaker, HR Metrics Analyst and Human Resources Leader who has been recruiting in corporate and municipal environments since 1991.

He specializes in the complete hiring process: defining, sourcing, recruiting, testing, interviewing, offering and orienting new hires. He's also well versed in strategic human resources, college recruiting, diversity recruiting, AAP, EEO, ATS integration, recruiting metrics, social media, recruiting leadership, training and employment branding.

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