Dear Readers,

Thank you for your patience as I took a desperately needed summer break. Instead of locking myself inside at the keyboard, I got out and did some camping, helped with a few scout activities and worked on growing a face cord of zucchini. I also got to work on some interesting projects at work.

However, I did miss commenting on a few items over the summer, topics like:

• Ricci v. DeStefano aka the New Haven Firefighter Testing Case, in June.
• The July article on How Not to Write a Resumes by Max Messmer, chairman and CEO of Robert Half Intl.
• The recent college grad who sued Monroe College because she hasn’t found a job (on CNN in August), diploma shown above.
• The Canadian Navy’s employment branding campaign tackles recruiting problems (also in August).

Ah, but it is good to be back.

Dustin Williams, a career counselor at the University of Missouri-Kansas City, has a career advice column on the InkKC blog.  In his recent column, Dustin covers his top 5 tips on How NOT To Get a Job Interview.  His topics are:

5. Use an unprofessional email address: Smokedog420@whatever.com or 1hotmama@youwish.com
4. Not following instructions when submitting application materials
3.  Submit a junky resume
2. Have cute/sleazy/stupid human trick pictures on social media sites
1. Avoid networking!

See the full details on the InkKC weblog:
http://www.inkkc.com/dustin+williams/blog/4062

Words don’t tell potential employers as much as deeds

Over on LifeClever, Chanpory Rith offers four good ways to give your resume a face lift:

1. Pick a better typeface
2. Remove extra indentations
3. Make it easy to skim
4. Apply typographic detailing

Chanpory is on a Mac, but PC details are available in the comments.

Mark Lucker is a good friend, a fellow alumnus of Denver South High School, and the brave man who served as my wife’s date to the senior prom. Mark is also one of the best writers I know. He’s one guy who should have his own blog (hint, hint!)

Mark and I think alike on several things, including the utility of video resumes. He covered the bases nicely in an article on the Training Media Review site. Mark had reviewed WorkBlast, and the CEO of WorkBlast parent HireMeNow.com tried to rebut. Mark did a masterful rebuttal. See the exchange here: Are Video Resumes a Good Idea?Mark’s main point is great:

Does a video resume really save time? If I’m a hiring manager reviewing a stack of resumes, I can easily whittle a pile of 100 candidates down to a more manageable 10 to 15 candidates in about 10 minutes. If I’m a hiring manager with 100 resumes to go through on a website, I’m looking at 10 minutes simply waiting for the online videos to load, not including actually viewing them.

I’d only add the caveat that video resumes might work for some select circumstances: professions like Performing Arts, News Media (same thing) and Cinematography come to mind. Like we’ve done with leisure suits and Dorothy Hamel haircuts, the rest of us should forget the video resume.

Edit: Updated the date to 2008.

• Sell
• Focus
• Design
• Target
• Be Precise

These are the top five To Do resume tips offered by Miriam Salpeter of Keppie Careers. Miriam’s five do and five don’t tips are worth reviewing – find them on the Secrets of the Job Hunt blog.

It’s a bird… It’s a plane… It’s Taxgirl! TaxGirl, a.k.a. Kelly Phillips Erb, is a tax attorney who blogs (a lot – But she likes caffeine!). In How Not to Get a Tax (or Other) Job, TaxGirl covers her recent experiences in hiring. We’ve seen some of her points before, but she found a couple of new one:

2. Call me instead of sending a resume. To this day, my favorite jobseeker was the guy from UPenn who actually called and left this message (almost verbatim): “Yeah, um, hi, this is Bob. I went to Penn Law. If you want to hire me, you can call me at xxx.xxx.xxxx” Right, Bob. I’ll get right on that. Apparently that Ivy League education of yours failed to teach you how to send a resume.
…
4. FedEx your resume. This is a pet peeve of mine, especially if it requires a signature. I am too damn busy to sign for your freaking resume. And the fact that you’re sending it via FedEx says to me (true or not) that (1) you’re desperate to be recognized and (2) you have enough money already.

I’ve had some people leave some pretty awful voice mail messages, but I’ve never had someone message me instead of submitting a resume.

See the whole post for TaxGirl’s take on How Not to Get a Job.

Over on the Cyberia forums, where urban planners discuss our future cities, the Cyburbian Cardinal reports about the resumes he’s been reviewing. The problems he sees are not limited to his field. In the sample below, the original resume verbiage is in italics.

Post of the Day | Careers How not to get a job

Energetic young planner seeks exciting position in big city
Turn-ons include new urbanism and long moonlit walks on the beach. No. This is not on online dating service, and drop the adjectives. Highlight your experience and skills.

Graduate student seeking mid-level position
You are under-qualified for a mid-level position. People in mid-level positions got there by having years of experience, not a degree. A graduate degree with less than 2-4 years of experience is still an entry-level position just about anywhere.

Check out the original for the Cardinal’s other observations, and some great comments.

Over on the LinkedIn Questions pages, recruiters are sharing their hilarious examples of What is the funniest (or worst) resume gaffe you’ve seen in 2007?

A few shining examples:

• “I like to use a hot glue gun as a hobby.”
• “Great oral skills”
• “Experienced Writter Available”

Go see – more examples are added every hour.

Over on the JobMob page, they’re tracking the funniest resume mistakes ever. Here are my favorites from their list.

• Under “job related skills” – for a web designer – “can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet”.
• Qualifications: “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”
• A resume listed a skill as “being bi-lingual in three languages” (Ask Annie’s)
• Background: “28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).” (Resumania)
• Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.”
• Objective: “I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entrée consisting of more than soup.”
• Reason for leaving last job: “Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state.”
• Achievements: “Nominated for prom queen”
• Objective: “To become Overlord of the Galaxy!”

Check the whole posting out for all the horrifyingly true details.