How Not to Get a Job: Bad, bad, bad cover letters

Martin Burns at the good to know blog has some sterling examples of bad, bad, bad cover letters he has received. His suggestion?

What I need is to see some effort at communicating with me about why you’re a great fit here – no generic cover letters, no one liners, etc. Put some effort in, and check your spelling people – these things are your absolute first impression with a potential employer, and often a deal killer.

I AGREE! I’ve received the two examples he quotes from many different people. Go check them out.

Yes – Martin is the ZoomInfo guy.

How Not to Get a Job: Unqualified Enthusiasm Cover Letter

Last year at the Ade blog, a friend of Canadian Adrian Duyzer forwarded one of the worst cover letters. Seems that Mr. Candidate was applying for a job as a media buyer. Ade dubbed the letter “Unqualified Enthusiasm“. Here’s a small sample:

So my aim is to impress your socks off, unless you don’t ware (sic) socks, then I hope to impress your shoes off. To be realistic, I don’t feel I am very qualified for this position. I understand a person with 2.5 years of sports management isn’t exactly what you’re looking for, but I believe I have what it takes to be your media buyer.

I think the only qualification I have that really applies for this position is my extencive (sic) CD collection

Check out the whole thing.

Oh – and don’t do that.

The Best Generic Cover Letter Ever

Rahul Roy-Chowdhury at the Developing Innovation blog has some insight into the person who sent this generic cover letter:

To Whom It May Concern:

This is an opportunity I’ve been searching for. I carefully have been selecting what Company’s to send my Resume. I’m honored to send my resume to your Company and possibly be considered as a team member. My skills along with personality make a perfect match for what you’re seeking. I look forward to meeting with you to discuss my future with your company. I’m confident, coach able, persistent, and consistent in achieving success independently or with a company that has a positive direction. Please call me so we can discuss a time to meet.

Rahul seems frustrated by letters like this, noting a lack of passion.

As a recruiter, I love cover letters like this. A generic cover letter generally means that I don’t have to waste time reading the resume. I can dump this applicant, and move on to better prospects. Successful candidates don’t send letters like this.

How Not to Get a Job at Wieden + Kennedy

Perhaps it is the far end of the bell curve of the creative population, but the advertising/public relations business seems to attract some of the most… interesting… candidates. The folks at the London office of Wieden & Kennedy (Blogging at welcome to optimism) seem to attract some of the best of the worst.

First there was the cover letter received from “The Terrorist“:

This week we received possibly the most inappropriate job application for any job, any where, at any time. We’re pretty broad minded here, some might even say laissez-faire, but what would lead someone to think it a good idea to put on the front of his CV a big colour photo of the burning twin towers about to be struck by the second jet, coupled with a ‘humorous’ caption?

Then there was the Banana Boy:

Hello Natalie, how are you? do you remember me? We met years ago in a supermarket, yeah, trust me, I gave you an orange and a bannana while you were in the check out counter. That was a difficult moment for you, I saw your desperate face and I was right there for you when you needed my help. Do you remember me, right? The orange and bannana boy?

Finally, the applicant in pain:

I sent you my application on Friday today is Monday morning and I’m waiting for responsiveness. It hasn’t come. This is a shame. I wish to make my purpose fully clear to your business and so write you again.

While their count seems a little high, any recruiter who has been in the business a while will have a fair share of examples to share. I’ll admit that the banana thing is weird.

Wieden + Kennedy is the same agency who did the great Cogs ad for Honda.

Tip: A Great Example of a Cover Letter

Recruiters read lots of cover letters. A bad cover letter is a good way Not To Get A Job.

The cover letter is an artifact from the old days of job hunting. Back then, Mr. Candidate would visit the local off-set printer, who would craft a ream of resumes that all said the same thing. Mr. Candidate would then type (or have his stenographer type) a fairly generic letter that “covered” the resume. This packet was delivered by the USPS.

Desktop publishing threw that model out the window. Today, recruiters expect a cover letter and resume targeted to the position Mr. Candidate wants to fill. Cover letter styles differ not only by industry, but also by position.

ZoomInfo’s recruiter Martin Burns has A Great Example of a Cover Letter that he received. While this letter can’t be the model for everyone (Don’t just cut and paste it!), it is a good example that many more people could follow.