How Not to Hire: Whacked Job Postings

The Recruitards.com blog has some amusing examples of bad job posting on the web. Recruitards is “A collection of the dumbest job ads from across the web”, complete with comments (in italics.) Samples include:

Think Big, Pay Small

“Since we are a new company our budget is extremely low ($100-$200), and because of this we can only offer a small amount of compensation. However, the right candidate will without a doubt be throwing him/herself into a situation where your skills and talents will gain serious exposure – and more work.

WE think BIG, and so should YOU

Please contact for more information, and include links to your work.

Thank you, and Serious Inquiries only.”

Obviously, they want someone who thinks big, except when it comes to their paycheck. Good luck with that.

and

Must be able to deal with SHOUTING

We found this ad for a ‘Web Designer/Developer’:

“MUST BE EXPERIENCED WITH ALL ASPECTS OF WEB DESIGN AND DEVELOPMENT.
MUST HAVE PLEASENT PERSONALITY AND BE EASY TO WORK WITH.
MUST BE ESPECIALLY CREATIVE.
MUST HAVE EXCELLENT WORK ETHIC.

SEND RESUME AND ANYTHING ELSE WHICH YOU THINK WILL HELP YOU GET THE POSITION TO … ”

And if you get the job, maybe you can help them write better ‘help wanted’ ads, too.

(Oh – and they misspelled PLEASANT)

Too bad this blog isn’t updated more often. Please help them out – send them some samples.

How Not to Get a Job: The Checklist

HOW NOT TO GET A JOB: THE CHECKLIST
So, for anyone out there who feels like failing to get a job in usability, here’s a brief checklist of steps.

1. Don’t do any research. Why waste your valuable time finding out about your future employer?
2. Make sure that your email approach makes it clear that you didn’t do any research by wording it in as impersonal a way as you can manage.
3. err… that’s it.

Over on Usability News (from across the Pond), usability and human factors expert Caroline Jarrett opines on her experience with a clueless new grad submitting a resume. Instead of hitting DELETE, she actually pings the culprit to see what is up. Hilarity ensues.

Caroline’s conclusion is not uncommon given this type of submission:

Clearly this person is not going to get a job with me, now or in the future. He has decided that his time, as an unemployed graduate, is much more valuable than the time of his prospective employers, who might represent his meal ticket for years to come.

Check out the full thing here:
Caroline’s Corner: How Not to Get a Job in Usability

How Not to Get a Job: Lie on Your Resume

As I noted earlier, I’ve caught about 20 people who have falsified their credentials or degrees on their resume. Microsoft Recruiter Jim Stroud has had a similar experience. ON his blog, he details “Six people who were caught lying on their resumes“.

At least George O’Leary was honest when he got caught, saying, “In seeking employment, I prepared a résumé that contained inaccuracies…”

The problem is, many people do it, and so few get caught.

HT: My buddy Art Romero at the CheckMate blog.